Insight #1: Curiosity does not kill the cat.
E.L. James creates a naive heroine, Anastasia, to show you that a woman can feel curiosity when presented with new and powerful situations. Imagine how a child-like wonder (in an adult situation) might lead to playing with new ideas, positions or turn-ons. Anastasia can be your inspiration to deliberately be curious and ask wondering questions about the sexual world. Why is it that the barista making your coffee makes you smile inwardly or giggle? Could there be a fantasy there to open up your playfulness with your partner?
Insight #2: Women fantasize about sex.
The amount and kind of fantasy varies from one woman to another, and even one week to another, but women do think about sex. Women can and do enjoy sex, even adventurous and exhilarating situations with sexual overtones. "50 Shades of Grey" can show you that women's fantasies are sometimes romantic, sometimes daring, but creative thoughts about sex can exist for most women, even the young and naive ones. Anastasia's fantasies create a safe space for her to explore ideas that might / might not provide her with satisfaction.
Insight #3: Sex is a normal and balanced part of a woman's life.
Toss out that old idea that men want sex and women are the gatekeepers of denial. Anastasia dives in and if you feel inspired, so should you! Anastasia struggles with idea that "good girls" and sex don't happen in the same sentence. She struggles much like many women in my practice to understand the best balance of sex, love and relationship in her world. In the end, each individual defines that for themselves, much like Anastasia defines what she wants and doesn't for herself.
Insight #4: Women want romance, just not the way you might expect.
Helen Fischer, a Rutgers researcher (http://www.helenfisher.com/), developed the idea of a Love Map for women that combines lust, romance and bonding for a strong sense of love. "50 Shades of Grey" brings romance to the table in a big way, but it also provides for lust and bonding over the course of the 3 books. Helen Fisher's theory suggests that without that note in your purse from your lover or an unexpected sexy text now and then, you might feel disconnected. The book points out that just having one of these traits isn't enough, you need a balance of the three to really make something grow.
Anastasia steps into her own imagination to find the piece that makes the sex spicy while reaching deeper into Christian Grey for that bonding connection. She discovers what romance looks / feels like and seeks to create it. You can't create the romance or lust pieces if you don't know what they look like in the first place. What internal movie do you see when the words lust, romance and bonding are mentioned?
What did you discover about women by reading "50 Shades of Grey?"