If the drive to have sex has fallen to the wayside over the course of your relationship, it might be time to come into my office for counseling. I work with couples to carefully negotiate how both partners are going to get their needs met. Communication skills and a helpful mediator (like me) can work through power struggles in this sensitive topic.
Once the physical issues have been addressed and your communication improves, you might need to work together on approaching arousal from new directions. Spicing up your sex life can bring back some of the early energy you shared as a couple. Unfortunately, what worked when you were first together may not work now. Some fresh techniques for reaching your partner's arousal needs can help both of you find enjoyment together again. I work with clients to improve understanding about what works to increase their personal romance, sex and connection.
Arousal is a complex weave of hormones, emotion, personal energy and focus with many more elements. Sex is very multi-dimensional and I use a wide variety of approaches to guide couples through desire discrepancy and into a more harmonious arousal rhythm.