A trembling in the bones may carry a more convincing testimony than the dry documented deductions of the brain.
As promised from a previous blog, let’s dive into the system of Kundalini energy and how it circulates helping to increase our awareness of sexual energy. Keep in mind, although Kundalini is often analogous to sexual energy, let me be clear that it is not ultimately intended to be an egoic self-serving, craving based system. The highest intention of this powerful energy is to become more aware and be of benefit beyond any conceptual idea of one’s sexual needs.
When finally we slow ourselves down enough, we can sense into something beyond our sense perceptions and a thinking brain that chatters away about this and that. Contemplating what that particular feel within the bones may be, is something the East has had woven into their traditions throughout time. Our more socratic views discount any possibility that something not perceived by the senses is unfounded. Yet despite such dispute, we only have to quiet ourselves enough to tap into this subtle energy.
Many of you may have heard the word chakras and channels. In the East, it is said, chakras are energetic wheel-like vortexes located from the base of the spine to the top of the head. In Vedic tradition there are seven, in Buddhist tradition there are four main ones and three secret chakras. From the chakras, it is said there are 84,000 channels distributing this vital subtle energy throughout the body. If you’ve ever experienced Acupuncture, this energy, or Chi, is what the practitioner is accessing.
So how does this relate to Kundalini? When we settle our mind-body into a calm state (the physical body is gross form of energy, think Physics), we can directly access this often very dormant energy, called fierce woman. As we cultivate awareness at this level, we can then learn techniques to stoke this inner fire and awaken more deeply to vitality and satisfaction. It is often referred to as Great Bliss.
When kundalini begins to move through the chakras it then circulates into the channels, which is a fortifying vital energy that interacts with the more gross energy of our physical bodies. So when you get that sense of something deeper within you, it is this source you’ve tapped into which then informs your gross physical energy body. We can all relate to the gut instinct; however, even that needs refining. Read more by Dr. Rick Hanson http://rickhanson.net/media/files/MindChangingBrain.pdf
With this basic level of knowledge, it is from here that one can begin to imagine this system and begin a process of deeper awakening. I hope each of you will take only 5 minutes a day to quiet your mind and imagine such a fantastic, organized current that can help you come alive.
In my last blog, I shared a little about a meditative practice that is the basis for moving subtle energy within our bodies. As I’ve contemplated on this weeks blog, I decided to deviate from the discussion of kundalini until next time.
Here’s what I’d like to suggest to you. Take some time to reflect on each of the following thoughts. While you are thinking of these thoughts, bring to mind your ideas about your sexual desire (or lack of desire). Now I want you to hold those images, ideas, and perceptions in your mind and hold your awareness of that desire while contemplating the following:
Your heart is beating, your lungs are breathing, you have five senses with which to perceive your life and a mind to process the inner and outer information. In this moment, realize the preciousness of each of these functions. Bring to the surface whatever sexual desire you have stirring and mingle this with how invaluable and delicate your life is. Direct that sensation of desire and the idea of your precious life into the center of your chest. Breath with this sensation for a few moments.
Next, think of how you’ve had moments in life where your sexual desire would arise and drift, arise and drift, as well as even lack any quality of aliveliness. Think about those sexual experiences and maybe how you’ve been attempting to keep recreating it, sometimes you can, and other times, you feel a sense of disappointment. But nonetheless, you want to somehow capture that desire and keep the cycle going. But you can’t, as the nature of desire is impermanent. It changes. It comes, it goes. Whatever begins to emerge from the center of your chest as you contemplate this, just add some breathe there and let it be.
What I know may arise for many patients while contemplating the transient nature of desire is a sense of sadness, anxiety, frustration, or numbness. Hold whatever sensation and feeling emerges with breathe. It is here where certain patterns and conditions manifest. So as we are very skilled at doing, we “figure out” ways to make our sexual desire more solid, more permanent, continuous. Through the striving and seeking and desperation to capture it, we feel more and more of the same frustration and anxiety. This is a very painful cycle, which makes us suffer and takes us away from truly enjoying our lives.
Because the conditions of this cycle are being weaved, we produce consequences to them. Examine how you have set up certain conditions in your sexual life and the consequences it has produced. Just notice what comes and let go, breathe. Whether it’s the man hooked on pornography that has now led to erectile dysfunction or a woman trying to avoid a sexual advance from her lover that leads to her acquiescing and experiencing no pleasure.
Practice looking at your sexual desire in this way without any judgment or criticism. Next time you find yourself curious about why your sex life is showing up the way it is (and really you could do this exercise with anything going on in your life), contemplate the above reminders and see what the wisdom of your own mind can show you. The wonderful gift in this is that once you tap into your patterns and see how your sexual experiences might not be as enriching as you’d like, you can change the pattern. In the words of Lao Tzu, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
Sherri Aikin is a Fellow of Integrative Medicine, Nurse Practitioner, Sex Counselor, Mindfulness Facilitator, and Life Coach.
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